One strength that Timmy has that is beneficial for me as his mom, is that he usually shares with me what he is thinking.
He has coarse straight hair. In the beginning, I would sometimes comb it to the side after wetting it down but it never stayed that way, so I just let it fall and go where it wants to go. I recall that he had said in the past that he wanted his hair to be parted on side like other boys but we never kept it up, so his hair just naturally stays straight and coarse.
This week I have been wetting it down and helping him part to the side again. His hair always sticks up in the back in his crown in the morning, so we wet that down too.
So, today after we wet it down and I brush it to side he says "Mommy, am I handsome"? I say "yes you are handsome!". Then he turns and looks in the mirror and says "But I am Chinese Boy".
It caught me off guard that he said this, so I replied with a smile "But I like Chinese boys, they are cool". We were in a hurry to get out the door, but I need to bring this back up again tonight to see what is on his mind.
In the past he told me "white is good" when I told him he was making white splotches on his skin when he scratched and it was getting depigmented from scratching. I told him brown was good and his skin was how God made him to be.
I have been searching the internet for books on the subject of self esteem, acceptance, etc. for kids. I did find one titled "Kids Like Me In China" ,that is written from an 8 yr old's perspective regarding being adopted from China, from
http://www.yeongandyeong.com/kidslikeme.htm
If anyone of you have suggestions on books for him, please give me some advice.
3 comments:
Well, I for one think he is one very handsome & special boy.
Desmond Tutu has a book out called God's Dream (you can get it on Amazon or look through it at B&N). It seems pretty good. A partner book to that one (on Amazon) is Thank You World, but I haven't actually read that one.
Jamie Lee Curtis also has a few books out about feeling good in your skin. Might be more aimed at girls, I don't remember.
Good luck....
Debby
My nephew, (caucasian), has hair exactly like this. My sister learned to let it get a little length at the crown so it would lay down. It grew forward, but always looked nice. My husband also has hair like this but he keeps his very short because of the military.
Does Timmy realize that in America white skinned people pay money to have brown skin? Some go to tanning beds and others buy tanning creams. I know that in China it is the opposite so that may be why he desire to have lighter skin. BTW~He is very, very handsome! I have enjoyed looking through your blog. I found you from No hands But Ours. So glad you found your son. He is so wonderfully made.
Keri
Julia's favorite smile is one in which she crinkles up her eyes. It is a deliberate action and she has to remember to do it. I wondered about it until one day she told me that she was smiling like me. Yes, my eyes which are not that big get even smaller when I smile and my dear girl wanted to look like her mommy. What a challenge we take on when we love these kids! Timmy is so handsome just the way he is.
Suzanne
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