One Year Ago Today We Were Far From Home

Today is the one year anniversary of bringing Timmy into our family! I can't believe it's been a year. My, how have things changed so much for us and for him. He's still the happy boy we first saw in the referral pictures in early September 2007.

Remembering how Duane and I were both so nervous about meeting him on January 7 and how he first hugged us because the nannies told him to, and then he backed off a bit during the initial paperwork. He refused our offers of candy the first time and I am sure he was unsure of us. Through our guide we were told he didn't like Duane's goatee, was fearful, and he shaved it later on that day. When it was time to go, he did not want to go with us. He was hanging on to his favorite nanny. She was hugging him and saying her goodbyes. (Later we found out he went home with her overnight at times) and he then refused to go with us. She told him to call her on the phone. He was lying in the floor yelling and screaming very loudly. It was so gut wrenching to see him and hear his cries for his nanny and it looked as if we were literally kidnapping him. I had been prepared for the worst but I think it caught Duane by surprise. Even so, until you experience it you truly don't know what to expect! He yelled in the cab and for the first 10-15 minutes in the room. I am so thankful our CCAI guide, Sophie, was experienced with older children as she was able to calm him down, and he only cried one other time after that that day and no more crying at all in China, even when we left. We had reports from another family that saw him the day before when they adopted their daughter that he was excited to meet his family, but I think he wasn't prepared to actually leave his favorite nanny and go with strangers. He told us later a couple months after we were home that when he found out initially that he was going to be adopted, he vomited.

I consider Timmy to be one of the bravest people I have met. The only fear I have seen in him was leaving to go with us the first time, fearful of the dentist, birds (pigeons specifically), and fearful of going into second grade after he was in first grade the first 6 weeks this school year. He has overall been very adaptable to our family and to the foods and culture of his new country.

He touched every single button in the hotel room the first few days and he was wired and hyper most of the time. Much time was spent on him watching Chinese DVD's to help him calm down. He loved Tom and Jerry. Later we learned his hyper mode meant he was nervous. He is still hyper at times but that's just him. We were told from a girl who volunteered at his SWI, that he had a lot of energy.

He was embarrassed to be with his new mama and baba in China and also back home when we went to a Chinese New Year and were were amongst a few non-Chinese. In China, people would come up to him and ask questions, I am sure it was "where is your mama and baba'? We had so many stares and even some Chinese who could speak English came up and asked us questions about him. He did not want to hold our hand when crossing the street and crossing the street in China is not the same as here, it's about 2-3 times more dangerous! So, after Sophie, our CCAI guide, gave him a few lectures he decided to listen and hold our hand. He enjoyed Sophie and Sarah's attention and company much more than his new parents. He did not bond well,as to be expected much with us in China, but me giving him piggy back rides and playing in the room and Duane joining in helped tremendously. He did not want me to lie down with him at night and if I did, he scooted over to the other side of bed as far away as he could. He did enjoy serving me my tea at mealtimes and sharing food with me though! He did this at first some when we came home too.

When we were taking off from Beijing, I could see him gazing out the window, and holding back the tears. I knew he realized that he was leaving all he had ever known, but he did not cry, but he was very quiet.

By the time we landed in Chicago, we were all so tired and he had a major meltdown going thru security where you had to take off your shoes. He did not understand why, and we did not do this in China. Our mistake for not letting him know in advance. It was not a pretty sight as this was one of the few time he became aggressive.
I was worried security would question us but they didn't.

By the time we landed in Jacksonville, he was so excited to see his new brother and sister. At that point, we felt he really did want to bond and fit in with both of them. It was a relief for us to finally be reunited with Gary and Sarah and I had not cried at all in China but when I saw the Jacksonville airport lights from the plane, the tears came.

To be continued...